


Champagne or Suicide

by kittys_devil



Series: Champagne or Suicide [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, M/M, Mental Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-14
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-01 20:17:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittys_devil/pseuds/kittys_devil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy is out to prove hes not as straight as Adam thinks he is. He just never expected to find Curtis or the lifestyle he forced onto Tommy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the boys, only the original characters and the story line.  
> Title from Champagne or Suicide by Cassidy Haley

_You're holding your best hand,  
But you only get one chance  
HA!  
Well here's to fate _

 

I hate labels. I’ve always hated labels. Avoid them in everything I do. Ok, well maybe I like a few labels. Like uncle, or best friend or even boyfriend. But the rest of them I can do without.

Yet after performing one show with Adam Lambert I got the worst label I can think of. And he likes to flaunt it to everyone. He has to tell everyone that I’m his “straight as an arrow bassist who goes stage gay for me.” Like it’s something I should be proud of.

So tonight I show him how much I want him. And he still just laughs it off as stage gay kitty. I grab Terrance and head to the first gay club I can find.

I know I’m pretty. I know I attract a lot of attention. So it does not talk long until tall dark and handsome (and ok maybe resembling Adam a lot) is trying to pick me up. He’s pulling me towards him as he grinds his hips into mine on the dance floor. Terrance is telling me to chill out and to not do something stupid with him. But fuck it, at this point it’s not about love, finding the right one and all that shit. It’s about the sex and getting his pretty lips on my cock.

He takes me home, fucks me into the mattress and I leave in the early morning. It’s night after night of this for almost a month. Terrance or Taylor or sometimes even Isaac goes out with me. Watching over me as some larger than life guy picks me up and takes me home. The look of concern on cross their faces as I leave wrapped around my guy of the night.

Until the night I mean Curtis. He’s larger than life. He moves like Adam, speaks like Adam, looks like Adam. He is the same larger than life sweetness that is Adam. He even has the freckles that Adam tries to hide, though not as many. He has the dark brown, almost black hair with the dark brown eyes. 

He takes my breath away when I see him. I have to do a double take before I notice it’s not Adam. I hide my face under my bangs as I check him out. Isaac making some smart comment that I just ignore.

When Curtis walks over his presence is more overwhelming than Adam’s. I feel drawn into to him like I have never felt before. He buys me a drink, takes me to dance and spends the rest of the night with me. But when they announce last call I get a phone number not a ride to his house.

“Realness doesn’t start with a one night stand. Call me and we can make this real.”

I just nod as I feel my face blush. When I fall into the table against Isaac I can’t help but giggle.

“Tommy you sound worse than Sophie the first time we kissed. How can you fall that hard so fast?”

“He’s amazing. And perfect. Have you seen him? He wants to know about me. Really listens when I talk to him. He wants to see me again. I have to call him.”

Isaac just shakes his head when I show him the cliché phone number on the bar napkin in my hand.

“Only you Tommy Joe…only you…”

Isaac takes me home. The first night in some time I fall asleep in my own bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Curtis falls into Tommy's world, knocking him off his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the boys, only the original characters and the story line.

_Well I know you've been questioning  
You're uncertain  
Of your destiny_

“Tommy can I come in?”

“Mph..yeah…”

“You ok hon? It’s pretty late. You’ve been sleeping most of the day.”

“Hungover…”

Sophie leans down pulling the covers up to my chin and kisses the top of my head. I love it when she babies me. I smile as I hear her quietly shut the door on her way out.

~ ~ ~ ~

Isaac comes in around dinner time to make sure I’m still alive.

“Dude what the fuck did I do last night?”

Isaac just starts laughing. “Apparently way too much whiskey found the love of your life and turned into a giggling girl.”

“WHAT?”

“You met some dude. He fed you some lie about how realness not starting with a one night stand and sent you home with me. He gave you his number and made you all giggly and shit like a fucking girl.”

I can’t help the smile that crosses my face as the memories come back from last night.

“Curtis…”

“Yep. Something like that. So ya gonna call him man?”

My face blushes at the thought and Isaac sure does not miss it.

“Aww look at little Tommy Joe going all soft over his new man.”

“Shut up Isaac. He’s not my anything.”

“Yet.”

“Get out so I can go shower. You’re a pain in the ass sometimes you know that?”

“Yep! That’s why you love me.”

~ ~ ~ ~

I call Curtis late that night. We talk for over an hour before he has to go.

We talk almost every night for the next week. I’m looking forward to staying home just so I can hear his voice. Staying pretty sober this week too so I know this is not just some drunken stupor I’m getting so excited for.

Isaac makes sure to give me shit every time I see him. Sometimes I wish I knew him back when he was falling for Sophie. Bet he was just as entertaining.

Sophie thinks it’s cute and wants every little detail, not that there is much to share yet.

Curtis gets me. He laughs at my strange humor and calls me out already when I have a bratty streak. He listens to me babble on about my guitar and music riffs he knows nothing about. I even play for him a little bit one night over the phone.

He asks about tour and everywhere that I have been. He is amazed at all the details when I tell him all about my favorite cities.

He tells me about growing up in Georgia. Long summers in the heat or at the beach and winters without his dad. He tells me about a little brother who he never talks to and an older brother who is more like a dad. He tells me about his grandfather that took him fishing and his grandma who makes the best pie.

He tells me about running away to college for the career of his dream and then having to settle for something to pay the bills. How he ran away to California in hopes of a better life and how it’s slowly getting better. He tells me about his new career as a real estate agent like doing this is what makes him breath. 

When I talk to him I forget about the world. It’s just me and him and that is all that matters. He asks me to have dinner with him Friday. Of course I say yes.

~ ~ ~ ~

I hear the rumors. Even get a drop of the truth when I corner Terrance or Taylor. All of the stories going around about my Tommy living it up night after night in the clubs. But it’s not with some cute girl…always at a gay club with some guy.

I see the pictures swarming around Twitter. My pretty Tommy is in the arms of some guy. Being taken over as he shoves his tongue down his throat. I know he’s drunk. But still…a guy? My straight as an arrow bassist is out with a different guy every night.

I just wish I knew what was going on in his head…

~ ~ ~ ~

 

I talked to Adam today. He goes on and on about the new album obviously avoiding something.

“Adam just spill it.”

“Spill what Tommy?”

“Whatever it is that you’re avoiding.”

“It’s nothing that I can’t deal with. “

I wonder if he has seen some of the fan pictures of me at the clubs. I kind of hope he has.

~ ~ ~ ~

It takes me all afternoon to get ready. I think I change my mind about what to wear ten times. Sophie thinks it’s cute. Isaac is being a pain in my ass.

Curtis shows up with flowers for Sophie. Kiss her hand sweetly before handing them to her.

“Flowers for the lady of the house.”

The smile on her face is amazing.

Curtis takes me out to dinner. Opening doors for me and holding my hand. We talk about so much that I can’t even remember it all.

When he drops me back off at home I get the smallest kiss at first followed by one that makes my knees go weak.

As I fall into bed I think about how much I can’t wait to see him again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy tells Sophie about his date with Curtis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kink_Bingo: Vanilla  
> Disclaimers: I do not own the boys, only the original characters and the story line.

Sophie corners me the next morning almost as soon as I am up and awake.She pulls me to the couch with a cup of coffee for me and one for her.

“So…tell me all about it!”

“Soph he is just amazing and so sweet. I was trying to take it slow, but he’s almost too perfect.”

“Oh Tommy honey you are past taking it slow. You are so gone baby. But it’s cute. Tell me all about your date.”

~ ~ ~ ~

_ The night before _

Curtis picked me up at the house.Brought flowers for Sophie that made her smile and of course give Isaac a hard time about how he never gets her anything. The scowl on Isaac’s face is so worth it. 

Curtis walks me his car, stopping to open the door for me.Once I get inside he closes the door and walks over to the driver’s side to get in.He reaches over to grab my hand placing it into his.

“This ok?”

“Of course.”

We drive a bit talking about nothing really important.Well he does more talking than I do.We pull up to the restaurant and I can’t help but gasp. 

“No, Curtis this is too much.”

“You deserve only the best Tommy.”

I let my hair hide my eyes, my face blushing once again.Curtis reaches over placing his finger under my chin and lifting it. 

“Don’t hide from me Tommy, please.”

I look over and I feel a smile keep across my face.

Curtis grabs my hand lacing our fingers together as we walk into the restaurant.He holds the door open for me as we walk in together.He has a table reserved for us in the corner.When we sit down I notice a box of chocolates sitting on the table.

“For you beautiful” Curtis whispers in my ear. 

~ ~ ~ ~

“Aww look at you Tommy Joe! Blushing still from all this.”

“Do you want me to finish Sophie?”

She sits back with a cute smile on her face letting me continue…

~ ~~ ~ 

Curtis takes my menu before I have a chance to even look at it.

“Let me order for you?”

“Sure.”

He reaches across the table grabbing my hands into his.Holding them like that the entire time we wait.We talk about little things.He asks me more about my music.He wants to come see me and Isaac play with Ravi some time. 

I kind of giggle at the thought of my boyfriend sitting with Sophie watching us perform. 

We talk about us. And what we are, if it just dating or more. 

“Tommy I want to date you. Only you. I guess what I’m asking is will you be my boyfriend?”

I blush and giggle and smile all at once. 

“I would love that.”

We hold hands through the rest of the meal. Curtis picked out some amazing food.I literally moaned at the first bite. 

I feel his foot rub against the calf of my leg and smile at him.

We share desert, he gives me bites off his fork. 

We sit there for quite a while after we are done talking.When we finally leave he takes my hand, lacing our fingers together again and leads me out to his car. 

He opens the door again for me to his car. He kisses my cheek before he shuts the door.

When we get home he walks me to the front door.He leans in giving me the softest kiss on the lips.He pulls away and reaches up putting his hands on my face.Pulling me to him he kisses me so passionately my knees almost go weak. 

“See you again soon beautiful.”

~ ~ ~ ~

…and then I went upstairs and collapsed into my bed with a smile on my face.”

“Tommy he really called you beautiful? Oh that’s so sweet!”

“Yeah” I feel my face blushing still talking to Sophie about this like I’m a freaking girl.

“Tommy I’m so happy for you.You two really do look good together.”

Isaac comes walking into the room. “You two done with girl talk yet? I need to get princess here to practice.”

“Shut up. You know you’re just jealous Isaac!”

I give Sophie a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door.My mind can’t help but wonder when I will see Curtis again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's weekend away.

_And you're running out of time,  
No turning back it's do or die  
So what'll it be tonight ?_

“Sophie!”

“Sophie where are you?”

“SOPHIE!”

“Tommy I’m right here quit screaming at me!”

“Sophie! He….oh my god…he..”

“Tommy honey quit screaming and talk. Come on let’s go sit on the couch.”

“Sophie he asked me to go away with him this weekend. He has a cottage in the country. I don’t know what to do!”

“Honey do you like him?”

“Yes.”

“Then go honey. You deserve to have some fun, let someone pamper you, enjoy yourself. Don’t be afraid Tommy. If you like him give it a try. Don’t let Adam run your life honey.”

I just look at her flabbergasted.

“I notice things honey, I just don’t always pry.”

Sophie gets up patting me on the knee as she goes back to finish the laundry she was working on.

~ ~ ~ ~

Curtis picks me up on Friday. Sophie is there to see me off like I’m going to the prom or something. At least she didn’t want pictures. She kisses me on the cheek before heading into the house. 

Curtis walks me to his car stopping before opening the door. He brushes my bangs out of my face before leaning down to kiss me. I let myself open up to him as he slips his tongue into my mouth pulling me closer to him.

“Thank you for coming with me Tommy. I’m going to make this a very special weekend for you.”

~ ~ ~ ~

It’s about an hour drive to his cottage. He failed to mention that is cottage is huge with a deck that wraps around the entire house. He also forgot to mention the lake that goes with the home. 

His cottage is the only one around. He has the entire lake to himself. There is a deck with a small Pontoon boat anchored to it. There is a very small beach, more rock than sand. 

“Curtis when you said cottage I was picturing something a little, um, smaller.”

“I don’t like to brag Tommy. This is my baby, put a lot of time into this. It’s my sanctuary away from the real world. I want to share it with you.”

Curtis leans down to kiss me before grabbing my hand and pulling me to the front door. He shows me around his “baby” with such pride it makes me smile. He takes my bag into his room and turns to me.

“Tommy is this ok? Cause I have a spare room you can…”

I lean up to him kissing him fiercley. I break the kiss leaning into his ear.

“I sleep better when there is someone else in the bed.”

Curtis takes me into his arms kissing me until my lips are red and swollen. 

“How bout we go back down stairs and I will show you my amazing cooking skills.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Curtis’ amazing cooking skills ends up being hot dogs and boxed mac and cheese. I can only laugh as he puts on a huge show for his elaborate dinner.

“Ok so yeah, I so lied. Cooking is not one of my strong points. But at least I got food for you.”

We eat on his back porch watching the ripples move across the lake. After dinner he takes me on a walk around the lake holding my hand the entire time. I think we stopped to kiss more than we walked.

We get back to his cottage and sit on the porch swing to watch the sun set over the water. Curtis holds me tight against him as he licks at my lips before kissing me. 

We miss the entire sun set. Before I know it I am straddling his lap as he moves his hands over my ass pulling me closer to him. I can feel his cock pressing against mine as I rock slowly into him.

“Tommy I think we need to go in before we break the swing.”

Laughing I climb off of him. He grabs my hand pulling me into the house. As soon as the back door is shut he is pushing me against it claiming my mouth as his. Slowly we make our way up to his room leaving a trail of clothes along the way. 

He carefully lays me onto the bed before lying down next to me.

“You are so gorgeous Tommy. I want to feel every inch of your body next to mine. I am going to take my time with you sweetie, make it so good for you.”

Curtis explores my entire body. He is running his tongue over my sensitive skin before peppering it with kisses. Curtis leaves little marks over my nipples and along my hips. I am moaning and begging by the time his teasing tongue swipes across the tip of my cock. When he takes my entire length into his mouth I moan out arching off the bed.

He takes his time opening me up. He teases my hole with his tongue until I am begging for more. He slicks up his fingers before slowly sliding them in one at a time. Curtis teases me as he moves them around until I am babbling uncoherent sounds. When he finally slides his cock into me it’s amazing. I feel so connected to him, like no one I have ever been with.

He takes care of me afterwards, cleaning me up before pulling me him to his side. I fall asleep with a smile on my face as he holds me tight.

~ ~ ~ ~

We have a wonderful weekend. I feel so spoiled and pampered the entire time we are there. He takes care of me like no one ever has. I get breakfast in bed the next morning. We spend the day snuggling and kissing and making love.

I think I’m falling in love…


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam's confession to Danielle, Monte's party

_You're a broken one,  
Mr. man  
You've been working  
On your masterplan.  
Well let's hope  
It's not too late_

“Hey Sophie. Where is Tommy? He’s not answering his phone or any texts that I have sent him. I’m getting a little worried. I need to talk to him”

“Adam honey he’s gone for the weekend. He went with Curtis to his cottage.”

“Curtis.”

“Adam, don’t start…”

“Yes I know. Sorry Sophie. I’ll talk to you later. Love you guys.”

~ ~ ~ ~

I call Danielle and have her come over. I need to talk to someone. I need to talk to her. I just need to fix this.

When she shows up with French Silk ice cream I just laugh.

“Oh, honey it’s not quite that bad, but I won’t say no to that.”

We head out to the back with the ice cream and drinks.

“Ok Adam, spill it.”

“He’s gone! With him! For the weekend!”

“Who Adam?”

“Tommy! We barely know this guy. And he runs off to the middle of nowhere to some cottage with this guy who has appeared out of nowhere and swept him off his feet. I don’t trust this guy. Have you see the shit he’s been sending Tommy? He is too perfect. All those lines that anyone wants to hear. Fuck I have USED those lines to get someone in bed with me before. But this is TOMMY we are talking about. My Tommy who likes girls and now all the sudden he is off with this GUY?!”

“Adam!”

“What?”

“Look at me…oh baby you are aren’t you?”

“I am what?”

“You are jealous of Curtis. Oh honey.”

“No…well...maybe…ok yes. That’s my Tommy he has.”

“Adam he is not anything more than your best friend. You need to get over this and let him be happy.”

“But…”

“No buts Adam. I told you a long time ago to quit putting words in his mouth and labels on him. Don’t mess this up for him just because you are jealous.”

“But he is mine.”

“No he is not Adam. Not now, not then. He is your best friend. You need to remember that.”

Sometimes I hate how right Danielle can be. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Curtis drops me off late on Sunday with a few kisses before I get out of the car and a promise to call tomorrow. 

I try to sneak into the house so I don’t wake anyone up. I don’t even see Sophie waiting for me until she’s calling me back to her.

“Tommy Joe Ratliff get your smiling ass back here. I want details.”

I can only giggle as I drop my stuff off in my room and head back to her. We stay up until early morning talking about my weekend. I feel my face blush up more than once.

She pulls me into a hug before I head to bed.

“Just be careful babe. I don’t want you getting hurt.” 

~ ~ ~ ~

Curtis and I see each other a lot over the next few months. I share almost all of my life with him. I just can’t seem to share much about Adam though. I almost feel guilty if I say his name.

Adam never asks about Curtis. I told him about him, but he seems to avoid anything to do with him. I find the whole thing kind of funny since he’s the reason I was in the clubs in the first place.

~ ~ ~ ~

Curtis and I show up at Monte’s for dinner. I had no idea Adam was going to be there. I haven’t seen Adam much in the past few months, spending most of my free time at home with Isaac and Sophie or with Curtis. 

I’m sitting with Adam on the couch catching up with everything that’s been going on with the new album. It’s so easy for me to snuggle up with him without even thinking. We talk for some time as he tells me about the songs and the bass lines and what he wants to do on tour when we get that far. 

I don’t even notice Curtis watching us from across the room. He walks over looking down at me and Adam.

“Tommy. We are leaving. Now.”

I can’t believe the authority in his voice, I have never heard him talk like that. I’m actually kind of worried when we leave.

He practically throws me on the bed when we get to his house. Asking me if it’s Adam I am thinking about as he pounds into me. I can feel the bruises already forming on my hips from his grip. It is rough and hot and we are both coming so fast.

He said he was sorry for being so rough, but I kind of liked it. He then snuggles me close after kissing me softly before we fall asleep.

I see the bruises in the shower the next morning and smile. They make me feel loved and claimed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Curtis take a turn, but in a way Tommy loves.

_So what are you doing,  
You winning or loosing,  
You're trying to get ahead of the game..  
Well hit or quit it,  
You're not going to get it,  
Unless you learn to steady your aim._

 

“I’m telling you Danielle it’s not just me being jealous. Yes, I loved having Tommy curled up next to me like he used to, but this is not jealousy.”

“Adam, there is no way Tommy is going to let himself be pushed around. Something probably happened. You don’t know the whole story. You need to chill out.”

“But you didn’t see the look Curtis gave me. It made my whole body run cold.”

“Adam you were drunk and high and happy Tommy was next to you. I think you are blowing this all out of proportion.”

“But…”

“No, I told you Adam. Don’t mess this up for him.”

~ ~ ~ ~

When I get home from Curtis’ house I am moving tenderly. I try to act normal as I walk into the house. But of course Sophie notices. 

Sometimes I love her mothering side…sometimes I hate it.

“Tommy Joe hon are you ok? You don’t look so good. What happened? You and Curtis left in a hurry last night. Was there an accident or something?”

“Everything’s ok Sophie, I’m just going to go back to bed.”

“Tommy come here please.”

I walk over slowly, not wanting to look her in the eyes.

“What happened to you? You are walking like you got hit by a train.”

I give up sitting down next to her pulling my knees up to my chest in a ball so I can hide my face.

“Curtis came over and told me we had to leave now. He never did tell why. We got home and things got a little umm rough. But in a good way. It was really good Soph.”

She just giggles at me and sends me to get some sleep with some pain killers.

When I lay down I realize I left out the part that I was talking to Adam. Wonder why I did that.

~ ~ ~ ~

The sex with Curtis starts getting rougher after that. And I love it. Every morning I spend with him wake up with new bruises somewhere on my body. And when I run my fingers over them my whole body buzzes. I feel so loved, so claimed, so much like I belong with him.

They are never big bruises, just small enough for me to know. And sometimes they are love bites on my neck. I wear those proudly. Everyone at practice gives me a hard time except Adam the first time I walk in with one. He just glares at me like he does not even know me.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t know him. He has a new boyfriend that he is showing off to the world. Making it look like they are so in love already. We don’t talk much. There are days I really miss him.

I spent the night with Curtis last night. He took things to a new level. Just as he was pounding into me he slid his hand around my neck. The tighter he squeezed the better the sex got. And the burn when he let the air back into my lungs had me coming so hard.

I look in the mirror and see the huge bruises around my neck. He left his thumb on one side of my neck and finger on the other. Seeing them makes my cock jump with excitement. 

Just as I run my finger around my neck Curtis comes in behind me. He wraps his arms around me pulling me towards him.

“They look so pretty on you Tommy. They are showing the world that you are mine, that you belong to me.”

By the time we climb into the shower I am rock hard. I push him against the wall and drop to my knees. I run my tongue around his tip before taking his entire length into my mouth. I slide his cock in and out a few times before he twists his hands around my hair holding me still. 

He fucks my mouth harder and faster. I stroke my cock as he abuses my throat. When he slides his cock down my already abused throat I come so hard, moaning his name. He pulls out just in time to shoot all over my face.

“Tommy you look so pretty covered in my come. Sitting down on your knees just where you belong.”

We share lazy kisses in the shower as we get cleaned up. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I call Sutan as soon as I get in my car.

“Hi Tommy!”

“I’m coming over, I need your help.”

I don’t even give him the chance to say no as I head to his apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Curtis demands more from Tommy.

_Well I know you've been questioning  
You're uncertain  
Of your destiny  
Which way  
Will your sacks tip?_

I get to Sutan’s but can’t get out of the car. I am suddenly ashamed to go in there and show him. I love how Curtis marks me, makes me his. I should not have to be ashamed of this. But I know I have to hide this from Adam and Sophie. They just don’t understand. Especially Sophie, she can get so motherly on me. 

I sit in the car for almost 15 minutes when there is a knock on the window. I look up and see a very out of it, hardly out of bed Sutan looking back at me. I roll down the window and smile at him.

“You woke my ass up so you can sit in my driveway?”

“Um. No. I just. Well, it’s just that…”

“Tommy get your ass in my house. It’s hot and early and I am not in the mood to talk in my driveway.”

He turns and walks back into the house. I lock up the car and follow him inside.

I would call him a diva he was not already so cranky.

“So Tommy Joe what is so important that you race over here and then sit in my drive…”

He looks at me and stops. Stops talking, stops moving, I think he even stopped breathing.

“Tommy Joe? What happened to you Vayvee?”

Sutan runs his fingers gently around my neck.

“It was good. It was really good. Curtis likes this; he likes to mark me up like this. And it’s amazing when he does. But, um I don’t want Sophie to see. I don’t think she will understand. Please. I know you have stuff to cover it up.”

Sutan puts his finger under my chin making me look up at him.

“Curtis likes this, but do you?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

Sutan covers up the marks and gives me some stuff to take with me until the bruises are gone. I don’t take my shirt off while he works. I am not ready for anyone to see the rest of the bruises on my body.

I get home and talk to Sophie. If she notices anything she doesn’t say anything. I love the makeup Sutan gave me. I so owe him.

~ ~ ~ ~

I decided I wanted to quit being the ‘girl’ in my relationship with Curtis. I call him up and ask him to go to dinner, my treat. 

I go pick him up the next night and head to one of my favorite restaurant. I have not been here in quite some time. I use to come here with Adam, but since we don’t do much anymore it’s been a while.

Curtis looks amazing. He sits next to me pulling me close to him after we order.

“You hid them?”

He is running his fingers over the bruises on my neck.

“I didn’t want Sophie asking questions. You know they are there.”

“I like them on you Tommy. You need to show the world you belong to me.”

I let out a little whimper when he presses his fingers into my neck just enough to put pressure on the bruises.

We are talking about nothing really important when Curtis looks up and freezes. I look up to see Adam and his boyfriend walking in.

Curtis grabs my face twisting it until I am looking at him. I can see the anger in his eyes and try to pull back a little.

“You knew he would be here didn’t you? You brought me here so you can see him didn’t you?”

“No, I had no idea. This is one of my favorite places. Why would I expect him to be here?”

Curtis calms down and kisses me softly.

“I’m sorry Tommy, I just see him and get worried. I know what you and him have on stage. I’m afraid of losing you.”

I kiss him back snuggling into him as best I can. 

I glance up a few times and see Adam sitting across the room. Every time I do I feel Curtis’s fingers gripping into my leg. I’m sure I will have bruises there tomorrow. They are more evidence that he loves me, holding on to me so he won’t lose me.

~ ~ ~ ~

We get back to Curtis’ apartment and he invites me up. He gets out a bottle of wine and we sit together on his couch. 

Curtis takes my glass setting it on the table. He pulls me into his lap attacking my mouth. He is biting and licking at my lips before he slips his tongue in. I moan as I taste the wine on his lips and tongue. 

He moves us so I am lying on the couch and he is straddling my hips. I buck up a little as he nips at my neck. He slides his hands under my shirt lifting it over my head.

“Those are the marks I like to see on you. So pretty for me Tommy letting me mark you up like that. You are so mine.”

He takes my nipple between his teeth biting and pulling until I am arching off the couch. When Curtis slides his hand under my pants and starts to stroke my cock I don’t last long. A few tight strokes of my cock and I am coming in my pants like some teenager.

He looks down at me after I come down from my high.

“You are too easy. Get down on your knees now.”

I slid onto the floor fumbling with his pants to free his cock. As soon as I press his head against my lips he is grabbing my hair forcing his cock in hard and fast. I can’t do anything but sit there and take it as he fucks my mouth. 

He releases his grip on my hair after he comes down my throat. I stand up to kiss him but he stops me.

“Go clean up first.”

When I get back from the bathroom he is waiting for me on the couch. I snuggle up to him ad kiss him gently.

He pulls me onto his lap again holding my face between his hands. He kisses me gently. When he breaks the kiss he has a look on his face that I can’t place.

“Tommy Joe you are moving in with me.”

“It’s kind of soon isn’t it Curtis? I really like you but I don’t want to rush things.”

“I am not losing you. If you don’t move in I don’t think this will work out.”

Of course I say yes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is talking about Tommy moving in with Curtis.

_What's up my crystal ball?  
Am I going down or will  
I have it all?  
I know I'm climbing  
But will I fall?_

I’ve been dating Troy for a little over a month now. It’s nothing serious but he’s a lot of fun. And we both are ok with that. 

I decided to take him out to dinner. I’m sure my jaw dropped when he told me where he wanted to go. Of course he would pick Tommy’s favorite place. 

I just never expected Tommy to actually be there.

I froze when I saw Tommy all snuggled up with him. Of course the waitress places us directly across the room where I can see him perfectly. I try not to think about it. I’m here with Troy.

I really try to pay attention to Troy. I like him, we have fun. But seeing Tommy across the room with him keeps distracting me. He is snuggled up with my Tommy and I don’t like it.

Troy and I are talking about what movies we want to see next when I glace up at Tommy. I can see the anger on Curtis’ face and Tommy back away in fear.

I start to get up but stop when Tommy’s face changes.

If I see that one more time I’m sure I won’t be able to stop myself from going over there.

Troy is pissed by the time we leave. Somehow I don’t think things with him will work out much longer.

~ ~ ~ ~

When Curtis takes me home the next morning I am almost bouncing. He asked me to move in with him.

It just took this long for it to sink in.

I lay in my room just looking around. Thinking about how great it was that Isaac and Sophie let me move in here. I am going to miss having them around all the time, but I want things to work out with Curtis so bad.

I kind of laugh thinking about him. I was never looking for anything, just some fun and now here I am pondering packing up my stuff and moving into his house.

When I hear Sophie come home I go to meet her in the living room.

“Hey Soph, got a minute?”

“Always for you, what’s up?”

I can’t hide the grin on my face.

“Ok lover boy, spill it.”

“Curtis asked me to move in with him last night…and I said yes. Oh, Soph I never imagined things would go like this. I’m so happy, it’s just amazing. He’s just perfect.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Isaac I’m worried about Tommy. Did he tell you?”

“Yes Soph he told me. He is happy. Did you not see the smile on his face? Why are you worried?”

“It’s just soon. I like Curtis, I do. But I just wonder if Tommy is just trying too hard…trying to forget about Adam….”

“Soph, you worry too much. Go to sleep.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“HE IS WHAT?”

“Dude, Adam calm down! I told you not to yell at me!”

“You are letting him move in with that guy? Isaac! How…why…Ugh!”

“Adam is a grown man. I can’t stop him from doing anything. He is happy. Ugh. You sound like Sophie! You two need to let him be, live his own life. I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.”

My heart breaks a little when Isaac says that. I remember the last time Tommy was happy…before I fucked up.

~ ~ ~ ~

Isaac has the glamily over before I move out. He won’t say it’s a going away party, but I know it sort of is. Curtis doesn’t come, he told me I need some time with my friends. 

It’s great to be with everyone again. We talk about the crazy shit we did on the last tour and the stuff we are planning on doing on the next one. The drinks are flowing, the music is going and before I know it I’m sitting next to Adam almost cuddled up on his lap.

I forget how over powering he is. Not that he ever does something, he just pulls me in when ever we are together and even more so when we are drunk. 

When he pulls me into his lap I don’t even think about it…and when he kisses me it seems so natural.

Until thoughts of Curtis come rushing into my head.

“Fuck!”

I run out of there and to my room locking the door behind me.

I collapse onto my bed passing out until the next morning.

I don’t say anything to anyone about what happened. When I see Curtis later that day he asks how the party was. I feel guilty when I tell him it was no big deal.

~ ~ ~ ~

I move in with Curtis about two weeks after he asked. I still had some stuff at Isaac’s house, but most of my stuff has been moved in. 

Curtis is so sweet about the whole thing. He was making room for my stuff and helping me get everything organized. 

Curtis and I get into a routine quickly. Since he is at work all day I do the cleaning and cooking and even our laundry. I kind of love having ‘our’ stuff.

After about 3 weeks I am gone all day. I have lunch with Sophie and then practice with Adam, Isaac and Monte. I get home after he does and I can tell he is upset about something.

“Tommy where have you been? There is no dinner ready for me.”

“I told you last night I had band practice.”

“With Ravi…or him?”

I hate it when he calls Adam him. Not matter what he is still my friend.

“He has a name…I had practice with Adam. Now stop being an ass. We can just order out tonight.”

I move to walk past him to get the take out menus when he stops me.

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

I never expected the slap across my face that came next.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam's side.

_Tick tock you got the trigger locked,  
Staring down the barrel of a one way stop.  
Wham bam it's on your hand,  
Raise that glass to your  
Adoring fans_

 

Please be home….please be up…please…please…please…

It runs through my head as I call Danielle. It is taking her forever to pick up her phone. I need her. I am already on my way over to her house and I don’t know what I am going to do if she is not home.

She has to be home. And she needs to….

“Adam?”

“Danielle! I’m almost at you house. I need you. Please tell me you are home.”

“Adam what is going on? Yes I’m home.”

“I just...fuck it’s just…fuck. I’m almost at your house. I’ll explain when I get there.”

It’s just a few more minutes and I am pulling into her driveway. I am in her house and hugging her before I even realize it.

“Adam you are scaring me. What is going on?”

“I fucked up…I really fucked up this time. He is going to kill me. What am I going to do? Oh, Danielle I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t it just happened and then fuck. I’m so dead.”

“Troy?”

“Oh FUCK! I forgot about Troy…how can I forget about Troy. Oh my life is so fucked up Danielle. How did I let all this happen?”

I fall back against the couch unable to process everything that is going on in my head right now.

Danielle just sits there holding my hand as I beat myself up inside my head.

Between Tommy and Troy and Tommy’s boyfriend…I have so fucked this up.

But it’s Tommy…my Tommy…and it was so us…

“You going to tell me sometime tonight Adam?”

I take a deep breath. And another. And then one more just for good measure.

“We kissed.” I mumble barely loud enough for her to hear.

Danielle pulls me against her, wrapping her arms around me.

“Who did honey?” she whispers right back. I love that sometimes she gets how it’s easier to whisper these things.

“Me and Tommy did at Isaac’s party. I had a few drinks, but Tommy was really drunk. He was sitting by me and kept getting cuddlier and cuddlier. I don’t even know what possessed me to pull him into my lap but I did. It was just so natural. I didn’t think about who I was dating or who he was dating or anything. All I thought about was here was my Tommy and he wanted to be close to me…”

“But Adam…”

“I know you don’t even have to say it. He has Curtis and don’t fuck this up for him no matter what I feel about the guy and blah blah blah you have said it all before.”

“Well yes, but what I was going to say is he is not yours. He never was.”

“I know that. But when he is with me and I kiss him and it’s so natural and we fit together and it just feels like he is mine.”

“But he’s not.”

“I know…you have no idea how much I know…”

~ ~ ~ ~

The show was amazing tonight. We had so much fun, more laughing than we have done in quite a while. The audience was so pumped up and that just made everything so much fun. 

I was on such a high when we got done. I grabbed Tommy and we headed out. We had a few drinks during the show and right after but we are barely buzzed. By the time the rest of the gang got to the club Tommy and I were pretty drunk and had shared a couple of joints.

We were feeling good and Tommy was being his normal snuggly self. We drank and danced and kissed deeper than we had in a while.

When Tommy was tripping over his feet more than normal I knew it was time to head back to the hotel. I assure Monte that we are ok to walk back; it’s only a few blocks.

I am still too wired to sleep and I know Tommy is not sleeping anytime soon. He comes up to my room to watch a movie. I get the movie all set and Tommy snuggled up next to me holding him close.

The movie has only been playing for a few minutes when Tommy twists around and starts kissing me again. It’s hot and wet and needy and I need so much more. I move so he is lying on his back and I am top of him. I lick his lips pushing my way in to his mouth. I can still taste the alcohol on his tongue as our tongues twist together. 

I straddle his hips rocking into him to get the friction we both crave. Attacking his mouth I moan out his name. I feel his hand slide down to my pants pulling for my zipper.

It hits me what we are doing and I jump out of the bed...and send him out of the room….

“FUCK”

It’s always the same dream…and I always wake up pissed.

I sent him away.

I pushed him away. He wanted me as much as I wanted him and I was too afraid of everything…and now I lost him…to Curtis.

I lie back down and cry myself to sleep…just like I do every time I dream of that night.

~ ~ ~ ~

I walk away from Curtis and into the room with my guitars. I pick up my favorite just to feel the strings under my fingers and it starts to calm me. I play random notes not really playing anything.

I calm down a little and rub my finger over the sting that is still on my cheek.

I avoid him for quite some time. He comes up and knocks on the door asking to come in.

He comes in and kneels next to me. Curtis has been crying. I can see the tear stains on his cheek. He tells me how sorry he is, how bad his day was and that he didn’t mean to take it out on me. Curtis pulls me into his arms kissing me gently and promising never to do it again.

When he makes love to me I feel so at home.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam has doubts, Curtis takes things even further.

_And you're running out of time,  
No turning back it's do or die  
So what'll it be tonight ?  
Champagne or suicide ?  
Suicide..._

_Tick tock you got the trigger locked,  
Staring down the barrel of a one way stop.  
Wham bam it's on your hand,  
Raise that glass to your  
Adoring fans_

We were starting to practice more. I don’t mind, I really love it. More time with Adam, Monte, Isaac and Cam is never anything I am going to turn down. I realized last week that I missed the times when it was just me and Adam. His voice as I play alone is something that just blows my mind.

Practice is ending and everyone is starting to pack up. I stay back a little until everyone else had said their goodbyes and had left.

“Something on your mind Tommy?”

“Sing while I play?”

“Of course Glitter baby.”

It’s just the two of us playing whatever comes to mind. The classic songs that made us both fall in love with music. I have no idea how long we have been there until Curtis comes busting in.

“Tommy Joe! What the fuck are you still doing here? You were supposed to be at home waiting for me!”

“We were practicing. Adam and I were…”

Curtis stalks over, looking me right in the eyes.

“Practice. Was. Over. Two. Hours. Ago.”

“I know but...”

“No Tommy, I don’t want to hear it!”

Adam walks over and I shudder knowing this is not going to be good.

“Tommy has every right to stay and practice. It’s his fucking job.”

“This does not concern you...” Curtis looks Adam up and down, “...Adam.”

“It does concern me when you are screaming at him over something as stupid as being home.”

“Adam, please don’t.”

I beg him with my eyes, not wanting this to get out of hand.

“No Tommy, I’m not letting this go.”

“Yes Adam you are, and me and Curtis are leaving. I’ll see you next week.”

“Tommy….”

I don’t even turn around as I follow Curtis to his car.

As soon as we get in he looks at me with disgust in his eyes.

“You smell like him.”

He doesn’t talk the whole way home.

~ ~ ~ ~

I get on the phone as soon as Tommy leaves. Something is not right about this whole thing. I hate seeing him back down to Curtis.

“Hey Sophie, it’s Adam. Is Isaac home yet?”

“Let me get him.”

“Hey Adam. Everything ok? I mean I love you man, but it’s only been like 2 hours.”

“How much do you know about Curtis?”

“He’s a great guy. He makes Tommy so happy. He really wants this to work out. And haven’t you seen the smile on Tommy’s face when he talks about him?”

“He doesn’t tell me anything about him. But I don’t like him.”

“Adam don’t start this again.”

“I saw something today. Tommy stayed back. He was like desperate for me to sing while he played. It was not like him, but I didn’t think much about it. But Curtis showed up because Tommy was late getting home. I didn’t like the look in his eyes, Isaac. But Tommy just told me to back off and left with him. I’m just worried.”

“You are reading into things. Maybe Curtis had something planned and was just upset that Tommy was late?”

“Maybe. Well, I’ll talk to you later.”

I hang up the phone not feeling any better. Curtis may have Tommy and Isaac fooled, but I still don’t trust him.

~ ~ ~ ~

As soon as we get into the house, he orders me to sit on the couch.

“I expect things, Tommy. I expect you to clean up here. I expect you to make dinner when I’m working all day. And I expect you to be home when you tell me you are going to be home.”

“It was just practice Curtis. You know this is my job. It’s important to me.”

“Yes, but you are living at my house now aren’t you? I am your priority.”

“What the fuck, Curtis. You don’t get to run my life just because I am your boyfriend. I am not some bitch that is here for your beck and call.”

“But when you come home smelling like him…what did you do Tommy? Let him fuck you? Go down on your knees for him like the little slut you are? I bet he pulled you to him and you went all pliant like a slut in heat didn’t you?”

“Fuck Curtis! Are we going to have to go through this every time I see him? He is my FUCKING BOSS. It’s all stage play; what he does. And as for practice? I gave him a fucking hug. He is my friend. Just like I give Isaac, Monte and Cam a hug when I see them. They are my friends. Why do you have such a problem with Adam?”

“Don’t say that name in my house.”

“What has gotten into you today Curtis? You are being such an ass!”

I don’t have time to duck before his fist connects with my eye.

~ ~ ~ ~

I wake up the next morning and stumble into the bathroom. I spent last night in the spare room unable to face him.

“FUCK!”

How am I going to hide a black eye? I still have some of that stuff Sutan gave me, but it’s not like I can cake it on around my eye. And sunglasses only hide so much.

I know Curtis really didn’t mean to. I was in his face and he was in mine.

I just have to remember to keep my distance when we fight.

I take a shower and head to the bedroom to get dressed. Curtis is gone, probably for the better right now. We will have to talk when he gets home tonight.

I never expected to find him in the kitchen making me breakfast when I walked down the stairs.

“Tommy, baby, you are awake!”

I look up at him with a shocked look in my eyes.

“I couldn’t go to work and leave like this. I’m so sorry. Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

Curtis tears up as he kisses my eye, moving down to kiss my lips gently.

“I never mean to…”

“I know, Curtis. I know.”

Curtis grabs a plate leading me into the living room. He pulls me down with him on the couch kissing me gently.

He feeds me small bites between kisses as I lick the crumbs off his fingers. At some point, we leave behind the food and he has me lying on the couch as he straddles my legs.

He pulls me up and takes me upstairs leaving a trail of clothes behind us. When I lay back on the bed, he takes my mouth into his as he slides his slicked up fingers into me. When he finally enters me, I moan out his name.

Curtis reaches down grabbing at my hips and pulling me towards him. I know there will be marks in the morning. But these are marks of belonging and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.


End file.
